If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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