my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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