glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize