I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
