do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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