Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
