Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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