Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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