someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
