don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just invented taco cereal.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
