it wasn't lemon gatorade
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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