question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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