you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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