if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
