im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Couch. On fire.
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