Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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