i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize