Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize