We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
They have beer where we have blood.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
