New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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