she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
