I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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