He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
