She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
