I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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