did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
