And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
