and next time when you feel me up, do it right
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize