Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
