Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
