dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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