butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
