my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
