I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
