Christians are straight up FREAKS
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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