I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
she looked like the before picture.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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