Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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