just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
