I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
