The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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