fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
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I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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