Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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