As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
