We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
