I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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