Soap is not a condiment
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
