dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize