Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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