Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
