Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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