You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
