i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
