i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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