someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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