I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
