so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
