All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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