There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
