youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
