So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
