Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
