He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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